Say the Word, Say the Word...

Are you different, can I be different, too?
Nobody knows you, Nobody knows you, like I do...


The song holds a lot of meaning... I've never looked at it as anything between a guy and a girl because I've never been able to see it fit the song. When I listen to it I picture a gray day in the winter, like black and white, and he's writing a song and has a lot on his mind but just wants someone he cares about to know something important. It's not really a meaning to be explained since songs are just amazing like that... I don't think I've ever seen it fit in relationship consequences too much. Maybe a bit but no.



I hope things don't get too crazy while I'm away. My mom threatened for me to not see my dad on Thanksgiving because she's just loved doing that to me ever since I was little, but I don't know how I'm going to react if she follows through. I'm contemplating whether or not to just leave and catch a bus or something to his house just to spend a few hours with him, but I'm not too sure what the consequences of that would be... like the cops swarming my dad's house for something he didn't do, or putting everything into chaos and not having anything when I get back here. I just don't want what happened when I was little to happen again... it was way too much for a 7 through 10 year old to be involved in. She may have pretty much stolen me when I was ten and drove me to Tennessee but she can't just keep doing that. I'm not little anymore and I don't care how much of my mom she is, she can't just kick me around like a ball and hurt me like that. It's emotional and mental abuse. Call me a rebel and tell me I'm wrong, but I'm not going through that again. It was too much... I won't jump at the chance to argue and I won't instigate or say things out of spite. I don't even know if things will go downhill or not- maybe it'll be peaches and cream and I'll get back here safe, sound and ready to go, but I guarantee there's a 5 percent chance of that because it never holds over well. I'll just sit back and watch what happens, and if things start getting ridiculous I'll take the wheel, because the last time I was being handled by adults it didn't pull over so well, and now that I can legally make my own decisions on at least who I want to live with things shouldn't get too out of hand. I'll pray about it, but really, I'm not being tossed about anymore. My foot is on the ground. I don't want to hurt either of them, but they need to realize that it's time they've quit fighting over someone who's listening and watching. I might not be an adult yet but I'm well on my way and know how to decide things for myself and I don't need them trampling me...



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUk5SZ18WhY

This song almost makes me cry when I hear it...
Steven Curtis Chapman- Cinderella


Tomorrow awaits...

Night nights.